All the Feels

Even though it's been ages since I wrote a post, tonight I just needed to get a lot out and remembering about this blog gave me the perfect outlet.
I've been very emotional lately and just weary of different things and I have no idea why. I get upset so easy and want to cry all the time. I have also been having some health issues and feel sick almost all of the time. The feeling sick thing I am slowly working on and weeding things out of my diet and taking medication to help control others. Some time last year I started crying every time I said goodbye to my parents and have ever since. I never used to do this before and have been questioning it ever since. Part of me thinks it's because I go longer without seeing them but another part of me thinks that I should be used to it by now and should be over the crying thing but I'm not. Today was especially bad when they left. I have been upset all day and no matter what I try to do as soon as I stop and my thoughts drift I get upset and start crying all over again.  I wish I could just figure it out and move past it because sometimes it freaks me out because I'm not always sad but I can't quit crying about it.
Another thing that has been really getting to me is senior year starting. I never thought this day would actually come and a part of me was hoping that it wouldn't. This is the last year to have so many experiences and the last chance to be with all of my friends and sisters in one place together.  After next year most everyone will be going separate ways and that's a really scary thought.  Those four years ago I was terrified about going off to college but excited at the same time for a fresh start, but now I'm comfortable with myself and where I am for the most part for probably the first time in my life and I don't want any of that to change and have to start over again but at a real high stress job. I don't even know what I want to do yet and I don't feel ready to move on and graduate but at the same time I'm so over the school and petty drama that comes with it.  I think mostly I'm just scared. But instead of being scared I want to embrace it, I know that it's coming so why not go right along with it and welcome it when it comes. But until then...